Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The Danish Amanda Todd lives life to the fullest


Amanda Todd was a Canadian girl, who killed herself after being harassed on the internet.

I don't know anything about the case whatsoever and this post really isn't about her at all.

Instead, it's a post on how such a story can go in a completely different direction. It's a story on coming out the other side of the tunnel with a smile on your face. This post is about the positive and life confirming story.

Fie Laursen is a Danish girl, who was harassed on FaceBook and other social media in the past years. She was on TV the other day and I'd have to say: I was very impressed with her!

Fie was 16 years old when she started blogging about her experiences being bullied by boys and girls her own age. 16 years old and being compared to a zoo monkey. As you can see on her picture below, that comparison is somewhat off the tracks:

Fie Laursen (photo taken from fielaursen.dk)
And yes, internet harassment and harassment in general may have turned into the new black in terms of having the political correct opinions. Nevertheless it's a problem, if even a single kid has to deal with being the one whom everyone else is turning to for letting out their frustrations.
I have personal experience in this matter. As a kid, I was lonely. I was the one, no one wanted to play with. I was the one who took the punches for other kids' lack of confidence and self esteem. I know what it feels like, when all the things you say and do are ignored (best case) or ridiculed - and then see other people being cheered and encouraged for the exact same things.

If there's one thing very few people get, it is that being the bullied kid is much more than being the subject for other peoples pranks and ill conceived jokes. It's much more than stupid remarks and inconsiderate language. Being bullied goes much deeper than your ordinary teasing and fight for social status.

Basically, being bullied is about being lonely. Being outside the group...

If you are being bullied, your are not a part of the group. You won't get invited to slumber parties, your class mates won't send you that warming smile when you enter the room, you are the last to be picked in sports and no one wants to have you in their working group, unless they know your expertise will grant them victory in a competition - and even if this is the case, you will be used and thrown away like yesterdays news paper.

Being bullied means that even your funniest jokes won't bring laughter, untill they are repeated by someone else, who then get the cheers for your wits.

Being bullied means that all of the sudden the empty chair in the dining hall is taken.

Being bullied means that you can have the looks of a super model and still people will call you ugly and disgusting.

In short: being bullied means that everything you say and do will result in negative response if any at all!

Such an experience really has the potential to make you bitter. To make you hate life and hate people...

That's why I am so impressed by the way Fie Laursen handles it all. Two years ago she was the most courageous girl in Denmark. Today, she is 18 and the most courageous woman in Denmark.
That's what I think!

Why?

Because of the way she deals with it. There is no name calling, no retaliation, no anger and when she speaks of the people who hurt her, one word describes it clearly: forgiveness and moving on!

It is clear, that Fie has used her experiences in a good way. She has used it all to become an amazing woman with a big heart and a strength of a leader. She is, in my not so humble opinion, someone to be proud to know.

Finally a little encouragement for those of you out there, who experiences some of what Fie and Amanda has experienced: Those being bullied as kids mostly turn out being successful beyond those, who bullied you!

If you hold on to the good heart inside of you and fight the urge of having revenge, your experiences WILL work in your favour!

Amanda Tood ended up killing herself...
Fie Laursen has made a life for herself...

Don't be an Amanda (God rest her soul)
Be Fie!