Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Take me as I am

These past two weeks at work I've been listening to a song repeatedly on the radio. The song is catching and it has a text that really sticks:

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream, I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

The song is "IM A BITCH" performed by Meredith Brooks and you can read the rest of the lyrics here:

Although the song is catching and there is no doubt about its quality, I have to admit that I'm beginning to hate it because I believe it to be advocating for a poor mentality that has increasingly spread out in the western world since the first world war. This mentality seems to remove our responsibility for ourselves and for our actions. It´s basically a mentality that says: 'Take me as I am, because I'm not going to try better myself.'

I can´t say where this mentality comes from, but the problem is that it seems to be a mix of truth and lies making it almost impossible to prove wrong. This 'take me as I am' mentality is based on the truth: none of us are perfect and we never will be. But then enters a lie: that because we are not perfect and because everyone has flaws and shortcomings, then all of those flaws and shortcoming are not bad. They´re just part of human nature and being human in nature can´t be all that bad, can it?

The main character in the song believes herself to be just the way she should be. Flaws and shortcomings are not bad, because they are parts of who she is. There is more depth to it than that, but I´ll get back to this in a little while.

Here´s the thing: there is a major difference between forgiveness and acceptance. We need to be forgiven for our flaws, but that doesn't mean it is okay to have them and that we don't have to try bettering ourselves. On the contrary, forgiveness is something that can help us in our effort to do something about them.

The 'Take me as I am' mentality is nothing more than laziness.

The funny thing is (not funny like: ha ha, but funny like: hmmm...? is that so?) that even inside of the lyrics from the song, the main character gives us hints that point to her still knowing that she´s wrong.

First, she is crying because of how she behaves...
Secondly, she states that she doesn´t envy her boyfriend/husband

We should listen to that voice inside of us saying 'this is wrong' and take it as a wake up call to try bettering ourselves. Not by covering ourselves in self pitty and self loathing, but simply by stating to ourselves that we want to do better. The real power of forgiveness (forgiveness from others, but mostly when we forgive ourselves) comes from this: when our trespasses are forgiven, our thankfulness is what drives our will to change. Is it easy? I doubt it!

But it´s probably the most significant message we can send to our loved ones: I love you so much that I want to change my poor sides and be a better person!